Click her for our step by step free blog advice. GET HER BACK NOW AND STOP THE DIVORCE STEP ONE
Well, crazy as it may sound, the answer is NOTHING. What ever you do, no matter how bad the urge, do not call her. You need to show some independence, some fortitude, and most importantly you need to be able to show yourself that you can be strong.
Have you tried calling five times in one day before? What are you talking about? Probably, your feelings, and then the situation gets worse. Did that work? If it did you would not be reading this post.
So schedule an activity, play on the computer, comment on this post and we can have a discussion about your feelings. But you will undoubtedly make things worse by picking up the phone without a legit reason to call. The conversation will turn into you begging her, or crying, or showing weakness. These things do not work. They do not let her know that you are changed, and could cause another argument. Which are the last things we want to do in this situation. Recall, the first step is to NOT argue. The second is to not cry or talk about your feelings. These are the two big mistakes men make when trying to stop your divorce and get her back.
Basic Rules of Phone Calls:
- One or Two five minute calls per week.
- Script out what you want to say and need to say.
- Have a reason to call. For example, children exchange times or places.
- Do Not talk about plans. She will ask what you are doing. Trust me she still wants to control you.
- Have a way out of the conversation. For example: my friends are coming over, or I am headed out to meet some people and have to go.
- Do not ask about her plans or her day, etc. This will make it seem like you are checking up on her, when she is trying to get some freedom. Here independence is an important step for her.
- Do Not Cry, Do Not Beg, Do Not Argue, Do Not Accuse her of anything.
- Get off the phone first. ALWAYS BE THE FIRST TO HANG UP.
Basic Rules of Text Messaging:
- Do Not Text if You can avoid it. This gives her ALL of the power.
- Only send questions that are pertinent.
- Do not send a message saying that something you saw reminded you of her. (everything you see will bring up a memory)
- One text message every two days is sufficient. Text your friends or comment on here if you need someone to talk with. Not Her. This will not get her back. It will annoy her.
- If she replies with a question, do not answer it right away. This gives the impression that other things you are doing are more important. SHE LEFT YOU.....so that was her choice. Not yours. Your choice is to move on. So everything should be more important. I know it isn't. Our number one goal is to get you guys back together.
- DO NOT EXPECT A RESPONSE She will see your text. She will probably not respond to it. This is because since you sent a text she knows that she still has control of you. It is all the proof she needs.
By avoiding phone calls and text messaging you are getting her to think that you are moving on. She will not be pleased with this because you are supposed to be waiting for her just in case her new lifestyle, boyfriend, etc do not pan out. If she thinks this safety net is gone then she will start rethinking her plan. Especially, when her new life starts getting uncomfortable. And it will. Remember, she left thinking things are going to be PERFECT on the other side of this divorce. Every thing looks better from the outside. But her comfort zone has been with you and home. So when she realizes that her new lifestyle isn't all that it is cracked up to be, she will come back to you asking for you to stop the divorce and get back together.
This will likely be a long couple of months. The phone can make you are break you.
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| Stay strong, avoid arguments, avoid the phone |
God Bless...keep your comments and questions coming.
