Strategy #3 Stop Pressuring Her

Step 3 - "Stop Pressuring Her" 
                                 Click Here to read other Topics Step One,  Step Two, Phone Rules


Stop Pressuring Her, Stop Begging Her, Stop Asking Her To Come Back.


Did It Work Before?


No, of course it didn't. Surely You asked her to come back, cried, and told her you could change if she would come back. You have certainly Begged her.


So......... Did It Work? If so you wouldn't be reading this right now.


The reason this doesn't work is because she is Not on your side right now. Your influence on her life is what she is trying to get away from. She will do the opposite of almost everything you say right now.


You must understand to get your wife back and stop the divorce it will take some planning. The worst thing you can do is pressure her into staying. Even if it works she will be looking for a way out and eventually leave altogether. In most cases she has already threatened to leave and you begged her and because she felt guilty she stayed. This is when most women lose respect for their husbands. She is with you now because she has to be and not because she wants to be. So we have a great opportunity to change this thinking.


So lets Not Pressure.


You may ask, "what does that mean?" Well, it means, that if she wants to do something just say, "OK".  When she calls or texts do not respond right away. Let her think it is OK with you. Just stop letting her know you care about her activities. She is going to do whatever she wants anyway, so you might as well not stand in her way.


PRESSURE makes people back off.... Don't you do something better if you want to do it as opposed to being ordered to do it. I had a boss that used to bark orders at me. I loved that job. I would work hard to get good deals and save the company money. But, my boss was a jerk. I noticed that when he would order me to do something, I would resent the task. Even if it was something I liked doing anyway.


It is the same kind of thing with your wife. By telling her to stop hanging out with the other guy, or her friends, or whatever your situation is....and to come home, you are giving her an order and she is not going to want to obey it. But she will want to flee from it.


By not pressuring, you become the good guy. You can't change her behavior anyway. Which, allows the new boyfriend or friends to become the people pressuring her. She will not want to be pressured by him either. Everybody pressures people, so her new boyfriend will do the same. What makes this different than when you and her met is that she wanted to be pressured then. Because so much is going on in her head, she will not want pressure from anyone right now. And when you act like you do not care and her fling has to become more serious, she will feel that pressure and back away it.

Then with nowhere to go, she will give you a call to see if you are still available.


Here is a conversation I had with a friend recently:

• Sam, "I am so upset, I don't know what to do....Dude, I keep telling her she needs to come back."
• " She is cheating and I know it... my relationship is different than other peoples. She loves me, she is just going crazy right now...."
• "If I just beg her to come back than she will...."
• Me, "Why? That will never work? If it worked wouldn't she be here right now?"
• Sam, "What do you mean it will never work, if she would just answer my calls I could explain to her why she should come back, I mean...I can change."
• Me, "The more you pressure her the less she isn't going to believe you have 'changed' and the farther she is going to run." 
• "She is in a state of confusion right now and will always do the opposite of what you tell her. "
•      then I went on to ask him if he had ever read my book...of course the good friend he is, he had not. 
• Sam, "Then what do I do, every time I say something she gets mad. Even when it seems like we had a good conversation she doesn't change."

You see, no matter what I told Sam, he didn't believe me. He just argued, and thought that there should be some simple answer that would get her back right now.


What you must realize is this: If you want her back then you my take your time. If you try to rush things it will never work.


Are you still not convinced?  Then do me a favor, next time she calls (remember you are not allowed to call) - then do not beg her to come back, do NOT say anything about it. Act as if your life is fine.....
Next, give her a day or two and I promise she will call again. She wants to make sure you are still there....
Step 4 - Reassurance talks about, not letting her think that you will ALWAYS be there for her. She left you so it is time for you to move on.


In closing let me tell you, your life is fine..........Where you were happy before meeting your wife? So you can be happy again.  Our goal is to get Her Back and Stop the Divorce.... but in the mean time even when you feel down, at least do NOT let her know it.


Please Comment: Did you try this strategy and did it work?


Coming Soon:
Step 4 - No More Reassurance

Are you sad and want a way to pass some time?

The whole divorce process is a long one. The fact is that you are probably not sleeping well, if you are sleeping at all. And in the morning you wake up to the realization that your life is changed. That is pretty bad.

So one of the ways to cope with boredom and keep yourself from bugging your spouse or girlfriend is to watch a few good movies. Here is a list of movies you might want to check out.


Taken takes forever to complete. Its like 10 hours long and interesting the whole way through.

Men in black one two and three. Here is a way to waste a little time and enjoy yourself. Anything you can do to keep your mind off the situation.

Good movie...after watching it a few times you will be able to turn it on and fall asleep.

Another long movie that has the ability to capture your attention is the stand. Its kind of scary but definitely a way to keep you chilled out for several hours.

What do I do? I feel helpless.

It's Morning time, and there is no doubt that you are wondering What Can I Do Right Now To Stop This Divorce? 


Click her for our step by step free blog advice. GET HER BACK NOW AND STOP THE DIVORCE STEP ONE

Well, crazy as it may sound, the answer is NOTHING. What ever you do, no matter how bad the urge, do not call her.  You need to show some independence, some fortitude, and most importantly you need to be able to show yourself that you can be strong.

Calling will be a losing situation most every time.
           Have you tried calling five times in one day before? What are you talking about? Probably, your feelings, and then the situation gets worse. Did that work? If it did you would not be reading this post.

So schedule an activity, play on the computer, comment on this post and we can have a discussion about your feelings. But you will undoubtedly make things worse by picking up the phone without a legit reason to call. The conversation will turn into you begging her, or crying, or showing weakness. These things do not work. They do not let her know that you are changed, and could cause another argument. Which are the last things we want to do in this situation. Recall, the first step is to NOT argue. The second is to not cry or talk about your feelings. These are the two big mistakes men make when trying to stop your divorce and get her back.

Basic Rules of Phone Calls:

• One or Two five minute calls per week.
• Script out what you want to say and need to say. 
• Have a reason to call. For example, children exchange times or places.
• Do Not talk about plans. She will ask what you are doing. Trust me she still wants to control you.
• Have a way out of the conversation. For example: my friends are coming over, or I am headed out to meet some people and have to go. 
• Do not ask about her plans or her day, etc. This will make it seem like you are checking up on her, when she is trying to get some freedom. Here independence is an important step for her. 
• Do Not Cry, Do Not Beg, Do Not Argue, Do Not Accuse her of anything.
• Get off the phone first. ALWAYS BE THE FIRST TO HANG UP.

Basic Rules of Text Messaging:

• Do Not Text if You can avoid it. This gives her ALL of the power. 
• Only send questions that are pertinent.
• Do not send a message saying that something you saw reminded you of her. (everything you see will bring up a memory)
• One text message every two days is sufficient. Text your friends or comment on here if you need someone to   talk with. Not Her. This will not get her back. It will annoy her.
• If she replies with a question, do not answer it right away. This gives the impression that other things you are doing are more important. SHE LEFT YOU.....so that was her choice. Not yours. Your choice is to move on. So everything should be more important. I know it isn't. Our number one goal is to get you guys back together. 
• DO NOT EXPECT A RESPONSE She will see your text. She will probably not respond to it. This is because since you sent a  text she knows that she still has control of you. It is all the proof she needs.

By avoiding phone calls and text messaging you are getting her to think that you are moving on. She will not be pleased with this because you are supposed to be waiting for her just in case her new lifestyle, boyfriend, etc do not pan out. If she thinks this safety net is gone then she will start rethinking her plan. Especially, when her new life starts getting uncomfortable. And it will. Remember, she left thinking things are going to be PERFECT on the other side of this divorce. Every thing looks better from the outside. But her comfort zone has been with you and home. So when she realizes that her new lifestyle isn't all that it is cracked up to be, she will come back to you asking for you to stop the divorce and get back together. 

This will likely be a long couple of months. The phone can make you are  break you. 

Stay strong, avoid arguments, avoid the phone

God Bless...keep your comments and questions coming. 

GET HER BACK STEP ONE:

Stop all the whining and crying, fighting and arguing. What will win her back is a simple 5 step approach. Each Day I will answer questions and give you free advice on how to win back your wife from the brink of divorce.

Step One: Stop arguing.

Let her win. How can someone fight with you if you are agreeing. This doesn't mean be a weak person. It just means, to listen to her complaints and say something like, "I see" or "OK", then let her finish.

Step Two: STOP Crying and Whining. Do you really think she wants a weak man? If this works it will only be temporary and will not fix the situation.

 I mean look at this guy. Do you think girls really want him around.
Would you want this guy with you while you were hanging out with friends?







Women are not interested in men who are weak. They are not fooled by your tears and pleas for reconsiliation. She obviously didn't want to hurt you, but HER FEELINGS are the ones that she is concerned with. She is being selfish and only thinking about HER. So don't play the pity party because breaking it off didn't happen over night -even if you think it did. It is something that has been in her mind for a while. And since she didn't want to hurt you in the first place she has probably put it off for a while and needed some spark to give her the strength to tell you that the relationship is over.

So by crying you are only making things worse in the long runs. Do your whining and crying alone or with strangers.

When you stop showing these outburst of emotion, and show some strength and resilience she will be shocked. Since she is  expecting you to be hurt. Doing the opposite will give her second thoughts for sure. REMEMBER: She left you because she wants a change. By not doing what she expects you are showing that change without saying,"baby, I can change". Which gets us to Step Three.....see more in the next few days. Or subscribe and email me and I will get back to you ASAP...............

Thanks for reading..................take care................and God Bless!!!!